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"Do you think we’ll be able to reach a settlement in the Murphy divorce case?"
"It doesn’t seem like your client wants the divorce, though, does he?"
"Not really."
"You can tell him its a lost cause. His wife is just not into men any more."
"Really? Do tell…"
"Well, you know I have this thing for seducing my clients who are divorcing…"
"…and you only take female clients…"
"Well, Mrs. Murphy didn’t need any seducing. She was in my panties faster than Judge Winthrop denies bail."
"Is she any good?"
"Oh lord, yes. She likes to toss salads too."
"Well, send her over to me for some ex parte. Give me a little incentive and I’ll close the books on Mr. Murphy for her."

"Do you think we’ll be able to reach a settlement in the Murphy divorce case?"

"It doesn’t seem like your client wants the divorce, though, does he?"

"Not really."

"You can tell him its a lost cause. His wife is just not into men any more."

"Really? Do tell…"

"Well, you know I have this thing for seducing my clients who are divorcing…"

"…and you only take female clients…"

"Well, Mrs. Murphy didn’t need any seducing. She was in my panties faster than Judge Winthrop denies bail."

"Is she any good?"

"Oh lord, yes. She likes to toss salads too."

"Well, send her over to me for some ex parte. Give me a little incentive and I’ll close the books on Mr. Murphy for her."

(Source: tightsaholic)

145 notes

After each week as a hermit crab, Marjorie always felt rather disoriented and decidedly shy. So, she tended to stay tucked into the rocks for a while until the feeling passed.

After each week as a hermit crab, Marjorie always felt rather disoriented and decidedly shy. So, she tended to stay tucked into the rocks for a while until the feeling passed.

(via cameltoe-mccougar)

Filed under were crab

66 notes

"Does the dark skin scare you, Denise? I bet it does. It’s no like you can just pretend its a good tan, can you? Not that beautiful chocolate. That’s not a tan. That’s me. That’s your destiny. Look at my nipples, Denise. Look how dark chocolate they are. Look at my clitoris, Denise. Yes, down there. My clitoris. Is it darker or lighter than my nipples?Both are sensitive, Denise, very sensitive. Just think about how much time you’re going to be spending with my darkest bits, Denise. You. Your pink tongue. My dark chocolate. Its a wonderful thought, isn’t it, Denise?"

"Does the dark skin scare you, Denise? I bet it does. It’s no like you can just pretend its a good tan, can you? Not that beautiful chocolate. That’s not a tan. That’s me. That’s your destiny. Look at my nipples, Denise. Look how dark chocolate they are. Look at my clitoris, Denise. Yes, down there. My clitoris. Is it darker or lighter than my nipples?Both are sensitive, Denise, very sensitive. Just think about how much time you’re going to be spending with my darkest bits, Denise. You. Your pink tongue. My dark chocolate. Its a wonderful thought, isn’t it, Denise?"

(Source: iseeporn, via ebony-pussy-pics)

Filed under NaturalSuperiorityOfTheAfricanWoman

152 notes

Kathy’s always been a bit of a shrinking violet. I never expected her to be the aggressor when we got into the sack.

Kathy’s always been a bit of a shrinking violet. I never expected her to be the aggressor when we got into the sack.

(via lucifer69)

74 notes

While my husband is fucking his girlfriend in her bedroom, I get to clean her kitchen. And I swear she’s let the crap pile up for a week in anticipation.
Damn, she’s a screamer. I wonder if the neighbors hear her?

While my husband is fucking his girlfriend in her bedroom, I get to clean her kitchen. And I swear she’s let the crap pile up for a week in anticipation.

Damn, she’s a screamer. I wonder if the neighbors hear her?

(Source: awesomenudewives)

Filed under cuckquean