"I know Darlene’ll stop seeing me as soon as the baby is weaned. And she’ll be seeing other women as soon as he’s born. She’s been up front about it all the time. She’s really only into pregnant chicks. And that’s fine. She’s been a life saver for me. My husband stopped touching me months ago. Without Darlene I would have totally gone crazy."
(Source: preggolovelove, via chubbypreggo)
What’s sad is that I have to send this photo to four different guys to keep them up-to-date on my pregnancy. I know my husband isn’t the father. But I don’t know if it was Julio, Tahnessi, Rupert, or Jawn-Tomas.
It had been a hell of a night that night.
(Source: pregnant-whores, via lisacumdump)
"Still not sure you want to, Mrs. J? Maybe a little peak will help you make up your mind….There. Now what do you say? Do you want to come inside with me?"
I’m not sure who decided that we should play “Truth of Dare” at Karlen’s wedding shower, but I for one hopes the practice catches on. I haven’t enjoyed a wedding shower this much in years.
(Source: milfsonfire, via beautifulwives)
You tell yourself that you’re a 40-year-old woman. You are in charge of yourself. You can control your own urges.
Then you find out that no, Courtney in is charge of you whenever she wants to be. And you have no control over your urges with regard to this young woman. No control. None.
"Another Monday, another convention. Or three. Who’s in town this week?"
"There’s a Conservative Religious group, the Southern Evangelical something or other at the New Convention center. And some organization of Women Grade School Teachers at the Met."
"Well, I bet we can make more money at the NewCon Center, but I’m going to hang by the Met. Lady teachers are a hell of a lot more fun in bed."
(Source: illillill, via upskirts-dreams)
She always walks two steps behind me and to my left. That bag is full of water, moisturizer, whatever I need. And in the evening, her tongue is better than any of the boys who try and pick me up.
Yes, its good to be rich.
(Source: bestofvoyeur, via xxdrdickxx)
After the auction, my husband thought he was going to get to play with my new acquisition. But I told him, “no.” If he wanted a slut he could have bought one himself.
"Its pledge week here at Lambda Ep, and that means we upperclasswomen own the pledges. For instance, I haven’t peed in a toilet in 3 days. Its so much more fun to use the newbies.”
"I went out with Jamal last night."
"Oh my god. Jamal? What? How was it?"
"It was fantastic. Everything they say about black cock is completely true."
"You fucked him?"
"Bareback. Three times."
"Oh my god. What about Eric? What if he finds out?"
"He knows? You’re kidding me."
"No, he knows. I made him watch the whole thing. His little schong was so puny next to Jamal. I think he wanted Jamal to do him too."
You never would have done this when you were younger. Back then you thought your brother was a jerk, and he was. And giving him a blow job? Are you kidding? That was like no way, Jose.
It’s amazing what can change as you get older, isn’t it?
"Look, Mrs. J. I know you don’t want me to tell anyone about that creative accounting you’ve been doing with the books. But what I don’t know — yet — is what you’re prepared to do so I don’t tell anyone."
I’m so lucky to work in the Admissions Office of an elite, highly competitive university. When the girls come in for their interview, they’re all very intelligent. So they understand the trade offs when I tell them what they have to do to be admitted.
In the 1950s, it was easy to hire a black woman to come to your house and clean and cook and take care of your kids. It was a little harder to find one that would take care of you the way I wanted to be taken care of. But I managed. Carole took care of me so very well.